


Sanctuary

by Abiadura



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:46:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abiadura/pseuds/Abiadura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> The world of dreams offers an escape from reality for young Ciel Phantomhive. Sometimes these dreams are interrupted by a dark passenger that Ciel will carry with him for the rest of his life, reminding him of the horrors of his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> If you find any spelling/grammatical errors please let me know. This was written at four in the morning and I can tell you my brain is not fully functioning at this hour. Reviews/comments are always appreciated!

  


_Tick-tock... tick-tock... tick-tock..._  The only sound that could be heard throughout the dark room was the muffled ticking of an old clock. The rhythmic sound of the aged gears turning were enough to lull even the most restless of people into a state of silent peace. The constant rotation of the cogs within that old face was what the young earl drifted off to sleep with every night.

Sleep was a luxury that offered him an escape from the lonely reality he was subjected to day in and day out. It was something that he secretly looked forward to every morning. Sleep was more than generous toward the boy. Most of the time he was plunged into a dark abyss for the night, not having of any memory of anything other than falling asleep and waking up to find the sun peeking through the windows in his bedroom. It enabled him to waste away the hours without feeling anything. No worries. No emotion. No anything. All that was there for him was a vast expanse of true peace. Or what he thought was peace. Not being able to feel, to think, to worry, that was peace. His mind was finally at rest. Sleep was his sanctuary.

He would have those simple little dreams that everyone had. Sometimes he would be in a grassy field playing with his long lost dog. Other times he would simply be walking through his own home, not really sure what he was doing there or what he was looking for, but feeling, dare he say, happy. There were dreams Ciel would have that would involve things like mountains of sweets or rooms full of anything that his little heart desired. He would have dreams of the people from his past and the good times he had with them.

Ciel's parents would often make an appearance in his unconscious mind. Well, they used to. Not so much anymore. They had been replaced with the boy's fiancee Elizabeth. As much as she bothered him, he did not know what he would do without her. She really did mean well. His dreams were often memories from the past when Elizabeth and himself would be running around the garden playing some silly game while their parents watched from a distance. Those were the times of his life that he missed. As desperately as he wanted things to be the same, they never would be. No matter how hard Ciel tried to be the boy he once was, he knew it would not, could not, happen.

As time progressed those happy dreams began to include those whom he held close to him, though he would never admit it. All the Phantomhive servants- Maylene, Bardroy, Finnian, Tanaka, Sebastian- all made appearances, some more so than others. They had become the family he had lost. Though he was often irritated by them and their antics, he did not know what he would do without them. Ciel would never admit it, but sometimes it found them to be rather entertaining, lightening his mood. At least Tanaka and Sebastian were able to get things under control when the situation called for it. It was those silly mannerisms of his servants that weaseled their way into his mind. That was exactly the thing that allowed him to have dreams that would bring a smile to his sleeping face.

Of course just as sleep was kind to the boy, there were times where it was not so nice. The nights that the hours of darkness ceased to exist were mostly torture for the boy. The black slate was replaced with flashes of images that would dance around in his mind, teasing and taunting him of what he used to have and how that was all taken away from him. Ever since he death of his family and the torture he was subjected to, Ciel's mind felt the need to remind him of every little memory. Those were the nights where he wanted to stay up until it was time for him to start a new day.

The night terrors first started after he was taken away from the hell he had been living. They had plagued his mind every single time he drifted off into a state of unconsciousness that most would find peace in. As the days and weeks passed him by, the nightmares began to fade, giving him many nights when he did not even have the slightest idea that he had slept through the whole night. Sadly for him the terrible memories he had were not locked away forever. They still came in their own strange sequence. Just when he thought he was safe from his own mind, Ciel would fall prey to the nightmares once again. He never seemed to win.

He could not even count how many times he had woken up in a cold sweat, panting like he had just run several miles as fast as he could. Sometimes he even woke himself up with his own cries of fear. He would sit up and pull his knees to his chest, hugging them as tight as he could feeling oh so small in the large bed of his. He would remain in that position for hours until he could no longer keep his heavy eyes open. The only company he had allowed himself was the ticking of that damned clock. He knew it was the dreaded ticking that would pull him back into the world of dreams, but it was also the only sound that would calm him. It was both his saviour and his tormentor.

As time passed on, Ciel did not just let out random yelps. He had taken to all but screaming the names of those in his dreams. Mother. Father. Elizabeth. They were all there being torn away from him whether they had already been removed from his short life or not. He always felt so foolish and weak for allowing himself to do such a thing. He would place his head in his hands and silently scold him self for succumbing to such trivial means. He could not allow himself to do that. The walls he had built up to the world around him were shattered in an instant.

Eventually those indiscernible pleads to the darkness and names of loved ones were soon replaced by one name; Sebastian. The same being that had saved him from certain death was also the one who could save him from himself. Somehow his tired mind had worked this out and caused the boy to call for the only one he knew could calm his fears. No longer did he sit in the dark room alone, he had Sebastian there with him. It was strange how a demon, a creature of nightmares, the very root of all fears, could be the one to chase such things away and lull him into a sense of security. Once Sebastian was there, his childish fears melted away and Ciel was pulled back into that black abyss he was so very fond of.

It had now come to a point where Ciel would not even have to shout his name. Sebastian just seemed to know when he was needed. It was almost as if he could read the boy's mind, predicting every action before it even occurred. The times that Ciel would awake with a start, he would just whisper the butler's name, barely audible as it passed his trembling lips, and he would be there. This had almost become a weekly ritual. The night terrors occurred less and less, but there would be times when they would all come flooding back, bombarding the boy until he thought he was going to go completely mad from it. Ciel accepted the fact that this was probably going to happen for the remainder of his life, however long that may be.

Tonight happened to be one of those nights that the dark passenger of his subconscious decided to pay Ciel a visit. Just like clockwork Ciel woke up from the images in his mind and jolted upward. His mismatched eyes wide open, his sweat-slickened chest heaving. Every night this week this had happened. Was he ever going to get a moment of peace? His clammy hands clenched the twisted bed sheets as Ciel bit his lower lip. Dammit. He was even shaking. How could he let himself fall victim to this time and time again? It was an endless cycle that he hated with a burning passion.

"Sebastian..." The name was whispered out at a volume that even an animal as keen as a hound would probably have trouble hearing. Within what seemed like seconds the butler was silently entering the room as if he had been waiting outside the door all along. Ciel silently watched him cross the spacious room out of the corner of his eye, not even bothering to carry a candle to light his way. Ciel had told him to stop carrying around a silly thing like a candle in the dead of night when everyone else was sleeping. He did not need it. Darkness was his friend, just as it had attached itself to Ciel's muddled mind.

Not a word was uttered as the demon joined him on the bed. It was better if words were left in the minds of the pair at times like this. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that had somehow come about during the first few nights Ciel made Sebastian stay with him until he was once again asleep. As the butler settled himself on the bed, Ciel instinctively grabbed onto Sebastian's shirt and buried his face against the demon's chest. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath he did not know that he had been holding.

The only sound in the room beside the faint sounds of breathing was the clock.  _Tick-tock... Tick-tock... Tick-tock..._  That sound would soon take him back to a peaceful, dark world. He could now lay his fears to rest and let go of his troubles. It was only when Sebastian was here with him that he could completely surrender, fully let go of everything dancing around his young mind. When he was laying here against the demon Ciel truly felt a sense of peace that even sleep could not provide. Sebastian was his sanctuary.

_Tick-tock... Tick-tock... Tick-tock..._  The soft ticking of the clock began to fade away when he could no longer hold onto his state of consciousness. The mechanical sound of gears turning slowly gave way to the soft beating of Sebastian's dark heart as Ciel finally let go of everything that was keeping him from delving into a silent world.  _Tick-tock... Tick-tock... Lub-dub... Lub-dub..._

  


  



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